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Suds The Breeder

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Suds The Breeder

Post by Suds on Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:25 am

Name: Suds Reen
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Occupation: Breeder
Personality: Suds is a nice guy.  He is very intelligent and clever, but he seemed to lack in common sense.  He can get himself and his friends out of a tough jam easily.  He had many friends from where he lived in the Unova region.  He also loved Pokemon very much.
Appearance: Suds has ice blue eyes and longish dark brown hair.  His hair is usually a half-groomed, half-messy style.  He has very white skin, and he wears black squarish glasses.  Suds usually wears casual clothes and a cap.  He wears formal clothes to formal occasions only.
History: Suds came from the Unova region.  He lived in Aspertia City, and came to the Ichigo region in search to become a Pokemon Breeder.  He always wanted to become a Breeder because he loved Pokemon. He also wanted to be a Breeder because his dad had a friend that was a Breeder, who saved Suds' life when he was about 9 years old.  He got his Tepig as a 13th birthday gift and a plane ticket to the Ichigo region.  He named his Tepig Roadhog.  He told himself he would nickname all the Pokemon he caught.
Extra: Suds carried out 1 launched of one Checking (Image not informed.) :
Roadhog was Lv 5 when they got the the new region, and knew the moves Tackle and Tail Whip. He was a boy.


Last edited by Suds on Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:39 am; edited 1 time in total

Suds

Posts : 1
Poke : 0
Join date : 2013-06-28
Age : 17
Location : Well, if I told you, you would stalk me. So I'll tell you I live in your ear

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Re: Suds The Breeder

Post by BlueKat12 on Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:34 am

Rejected, Please Fix:
Personality: You character's personality seems a bit Gary-Sueish(absolutely perfect nothing wrong with them) due to being a bit vague please describe more about your character.

History: Is that all that happened? Nothing more worth mentioning? No major events? No description of his life in Aspertia?

Pokemon: Please put details on your pokemon, Level? Gender? Personality? Anything worth mentioning?

BlueKat12
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Posts : 339
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Re: Suds The Breeder

Post by BlueKat12 on Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:44 am

I See You've Fixed Some Of It But, Please Fix:

History: You mention that he was saved, you are being vague on this. Please explain ALL details of your history. How he got into trouble, how he was saved, how it impacted his choice to become a breeder, ect.

Pokemon: Please give your nature, personality, and Ability for your pokemon.

Grammar You say your pokemon WAS a boy...he got a gender change? Please fix your grammar.

BlueKat12
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Posts : 339
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